Are you enabling the Addict?

"My husband is too sick to come to work today"

"I have to take care of my daughter's children or they would not eat"

"My son stays in bed all day while I work and then goes out all night"

"My brother is always borrowing money from our Mother and she keeps giving it to him even though she is on a pension"

"If I didn't let my daughter live here she would be living on the street"

I have heard stories like this from many people. What these people are doing is allowing the addict to continue their downhill spiral into drugs.
I do understand how painful it is to see your child in the grip of drugs and most parents want to 'protect' their children long after they are of an age to care for themselves. Parents are contributing to the drug use at the expense of their own health, comfort, safety and well being. Mothers especially are often in a caregiver role, working to support adult children who do not work or contribute anything.

If you want the drug user in your family to stop using drugs, you need to look at your own supporting role. The drug user often continues their use by using fear tactics. Men may use violence or the threat of violence against their partners or their children. Women can do similar things and sometimes with a twist, such as self-mutilation and then threatening to call the police to say it was the partner who caused the injury.

Household things may be destroyed or just vanish. I lost a lot of tools and a generator before I put a stop to the enabling. Yes, I did my share of enabling until I came to realize that it was actually helping her to use drugs.

I was part of the problem!

You will have to lay down firm ground rules and STICK TO THEM.
For example, when dealing with teens, the removal of privileges such as cell phone, computer etc could be a start.
For an adult child, a deadline for them getting a place of their own and a job. These things should go along with some kind of drug abuse therapy.
For a partner, possibly drug rehab and counseling as well.
A visit to an attorney is also a good idea, especially if you have children. Bottom line is, if you go on doing what you are doing, you will go on getting what you are getting. The drug user will not change the balance if it is to their advantage so YOU MUST.

Sadly, there is another thing to think about. The user may not want to stop. Even though you see the damage that the drug use does to the family, the user may not see or want to see or be able to stop. Getting away from drugs involves hard work. It involves looking at previous behavior. It means taking responsibility for actions. Some users are not able to do that. This does not mean that you, the family, should go on supporting them.

Let me put it this way. You will most likely lose the user in some way, unless and until they decide for themselves, to stop using. You can chose to stop the enabling behavior and accept that the user may move away from you, or you can continue to allow their behavior and watch them deteriorate and possibly die from drug use.